Change and why I’m still not good with it (and why it’s amazing for story telling)

I’m a true believer that we all need change in life. Without it we would be stagnant and get no where. Change is a blessing that pushes us forwards into being a new person. If we stayed where we were forever we would get bored and claustrophobic, never mind the fact that we would never progress.

As I’m writing this I’m sat in a coffee shop, looking like I’ve cried all the tears I could ever cry, and drinking a coffee. I’ve handed in the keys to my 1st year accommodation and it’s all just settled in that I’ve entered a new chapter in my life.

1st year was filled with so many new experiences and opportunities to grow. I went through so much pain and so much happiness. It was a roller coaster of doing some well needed growing up. And I truly needed it. But handing in my keys cemented the fact that I wasn’t living with Morgan and Harrison anymore. That I was a different person. That I could let go of all the hurt.

In the book I’m reading, “101 essays that will change the way you think”, Brianna Wiest talks about how necessary change is to growing as a person. However, she also talks about how we will always look back on the past with a rose-coloured tint. “Because experience is always multi-dimensional, […] what you choose is indicative of your present state of mind. […] This doesn’t mean to disregard or gloss over painful or traumatic events, but simply be able to recall them with acceptance.” I experienced a lot of painful experiences in first year, and visiting the place where I experienced it all- the nights of crying or having to have Morgan comfort me when I was down- was a big step for me. It’s like the final part of acceptance and closure. I can look back at 1st year with such happiness that I achieved so much, and I can now accept the pain that accompanied the good times.

Pain is necessary. Change is necessary. It’s all about growing as a person, and I can feel myself doing that. There were so many situations which I never got closure from in 1st year, and that I truly believe I never will get closure from. But that is OK. I’ve found my own closure.

So how is this helpful for story writing? And why am I writing about it? Pain is such a crucial part of good art. Most of my best work has been made out of a place of hurt- whether that is my music or my filmmaking. There are so many good blog posts that will argue about this notion:

View at

But, for me, my best work comes when the audience can feel my passion, and my passion comes from my pain. Contrary to popular belief, pain is actually good for us. Discomfort or fear can push us further and allow us to grow. Because of westernised society, we have been classically conditioned to interpret pain, discomfort and fear as negative emotions that need to be eradicated and “dealt with” almost. This, however, is not the case.

To sum this all up: pain is not always bad. Channel your emotions into your art. Take that leap. You never know what is around the corner so make the most of the pain because I guarantee you, it’ll help you grow as a person.

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